As very few people here know, I have been struggling with mental illness. Extreme anxiety and depression connected to a phobia. I blogged about it a few days ago, its in blog history I don’t really care to link it. Suffice it to say, its been a hard two months. But through my foray into mental illness, insurance claims, weekly doctors visits, FMLA/OFLA requests, I also had a thought: I am not happy in my current position. I have a BA in Sociology from Western Oregon University. I work as an office assistant at DMV headquarters. I am not using my degree that I spent...well god-awful amounts of money on. DMV is okay, I guess, but I find myself wanting more than an office assistant gig. I see people there in the same position for 30 years, absolutely nothing wrong with it, but it is just not something that I want for myself.
So, I applied to graduate school about 3 weeks ago, an MSW program online (perfect for social anxiety). University of Denver. Pretty reputable school, top 20 MSW program for their on-campus stuff. Really supportive staff. My wife has been going through the same program for about a year and a half.
Well, today I found out I got in. No merit based scholarships or anything, it’ll all have to be loans (oh god, so much debt between my wife an I). But I feel I am on my way to doing something that I really care about. Finally I will be able to advocate for people, not a company, not an organization, not a governmental agency that doesn’t really care, but people...themselves.
I haven’t yet figured out what exactly I want to do with it. Honestly, watching my wife go through this, the possibilities in social work are endless. I know for sure I want to work with emetophobics and people with other phobias, I want to work with anxiety and depression, because thats what I know. I am thinking maybe even trauma counselling. Definitely going to get an LCSW.
I am getting way, waaaay ahead of myself. I am sorry. I am excited but its like looking over a precipice. There is so much to do: line up funding, get a laptop, find an internship, most of all work on myself and my own problems so I am prepared for the stress of coursework. I am excited and nervous and ready to get this done. It may not be teaching high school like I really wanted to do, but its helping people. And I am very happy about that.